Today is a happy day because we get to celebrate me, of course! Yes, I LOVE getting older because it means I kicked CFs butt for another year. On the flip side it is hard day without my mom here. I thought after last year this year would be easier. Considering I was in the hospital last year and it was the first one without mom here. I have been doing nothing but crying most of the day thinking about mom. She would call me at 3:05pm, the time I was born, on my birthday every year. There were some years that she couldn’t wait that long and would call in the morning and then call back at 3:05pm. I miss that phone call of her singing happy birthday to me. We were VERY close. I had plans to surprise her on her birthday last year in April but obviously that didn’t happen.
Today it hasn’t taken much for the tears to fall. I had to get my 3rd and last Hep B shot today and on the way to the doctor all I could do was cry. I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t want to take off my sunglasses when I got there because my eyes were (still are) all red. Then my doctor asked how I was doing and it took everything in me not to burst into tears right there. I waited until I got into the car. I’m sorry if you are tired of hearing about my mom and her passing. It is hard losing your mom and best friend suddenly. Ok onto the next topic.
37.5 is the “life expectancy” of CF which means nothing to me, it’s just a number…but I hit it! Every time I have hit the life expectancy over my lifetime it has gone up. It is just a general average of people diagnosed now. With that said I know many many people with CF well over 37. I will not give up because of a number. I will fight harder because of a number. I will always fight until my last breath.
Tomorrow I finally see the neurosurgeon about my pinched nerve. I’m hoping he will be able to do something to help me because it hurts to yawn, sneeze, cough and turn my head. No fun at all. I will update if/when he has a plan of attack for this pinched nerve.
Thank you for all the birthday wishes I have already gotten today. They have helped me power through this day.
Until next time…