I Remember When

I remember when I could do a lot of things that I am unable to do now.  Unfortunately, that is only going to get worse as time goes on and my lungs get worse.  It is a major mind trip when you want to do things but your body won’t let you or your mind won’t let you because it knows your body can’t.  If that makes sense. Continue reading

Update and depression talk

I guess I should update you all since my stay in “lock up” (aka the hospital).  My creatinine (kidney level) is finally back down in normal range.  It was .91 when I last had my blood drawn at CF clinic last Thursday.  Yay for that.  Even more yay, I can start to take ibuprofen, in moderation, for my aches and pains since Tylenol does nothing for me. Continue reading

Friends and Family

What to do when you are woken up and you can’t get back to sleep….you get up and blog about what is on your mind.  Friends and family have been on my heart and mind for a while.  The sicker that I get the more I think about them and what they may be feeling.  Family is “stuck” with me but that doesn’t mean they have to deal or even claim my CF. They can love me from afar and still be my family even if they don’t want to acknowledge  my CF or even remember.  It is easy to ‘forget’ that I have anything since we are states away from one another and we don’t see each other daily or even weekly or monthly, sometimes going longer without talking to each other as well. Continue reading

Progression…may as well be a curse word

(Kind of a ramble…sorry)  It is day 11 of IV antibiotics.  I felt horrible over Thanksgiving and the weekend.  My husband was sick last Monday and Tuesday as well.  We were no fun last week, that’s for sure.  We had Thanksgiving lunch in our PJs and watched Netflix and football.  My husband is back to his healthy self, thank goodness.  When my husband came up sick, we thought it best to cancel my sisters trip here for the holiday.  We didn’t need to subject my sister, nieces and nephew to all the germs in our house.  We sure missed having them here for the few days.  The worst part is hearing that my oldest niece was crying and upset because she couldn’t come see aunt Shannon.  That broke my heart.  Of course, I am now thinking of when we can get a visit arranged ASAP.  She said she wants to come here for her birthday.  I agreed that was a great idea!  Spring break in Tennessee!!  Whoo hoo!!! Continue reading

Waiting…

When you have a chronic illness waiting is part of life.  Waiting to get better, waiting/holding steady or waiting to die.  Yep, I said it.  It’s a part of my reality and when I have friends waiting for lungs and others who are not candidates for transplant or don’t want to go that route who are basically waiting to die.  Maybe you could call it “living to die.”  Whatever it may be, it is life. Continue reading

A bunch of jumbled thoughts

I hope I can write this and let it make sense because it is all jumbled in my head….  It feels like a game of ping pong with my thoughts in my head.  Hmmmm let me divide it into topics….hahahaha  Continue reading