One year ago today the earth lost a wise woman. Death is a part of life but it doesn’t mean it is easy to endure. My grandma was an amazing lady. I miss her every day. I miss our late night talks. I miss staying up late when staying at her house and watching all the trash TV together on DVR. I know my husband misses those late night talks as well. I know my bonus kids miss her cooking.
It doesn’t seem possible that a whole year has passed. We all made it through this last year when we didn’t know how we would without her. There were many times that something would happen that would make me think of her, more than usual that is. Her email got hacked and sends out spam with subject lines like “Hi ya” or “How’s it going”. We can’t get into her email to fix it. Therefore grandma “sends emails from Heaven” every once in awhile just to make sure we don’t forget about her, like that would ever be possible. When I get one it puts a smile on my face thinking that she would find it pretty dang funny that “she is sending emails even after she died.” Anything to keep us guessing and smiling.
When I call my grandparents house my grandma’s voice is still on the answering machine. I called the house a little time after she passed away and my grandpa wasn’t there so the answering machine came on. My heart jumped out of my chest when I heard her voice. I was not expecting that. It’s not like I haven’t heard the outgoing message a hundred time before but to hear her voice when I wasn’t expecting it was weird. I have called a few times when I knew my grandpa wasn’t home just so I could hear her voice as have others. Grandpa says he gets lots of hang ups on the answering machine and he assumes that is because someone is calling to hear her voice. Whenever I finally get ahold of him, he is one busy man, he’ll say, “so you got to talk to your grandma since I wasn’t home.” Yep I sure did grandpa. hahaha
Oh grandma, what I wouldn’t give to see you, hug you and talk to you again. One day I will see you again but until then I will stay here kicking butt and taking names like you excepted me to. I may get weary but don’t you worry I will not give up! I love you so much and miss you like crazy!
Until next time….
The holidays are always so busy with family and going here and there. Throw in a few divorces and you multiply the number of stops. Look at my bonus kids for instance. They have 2 sides with their parents, that’s a given. When you add in my side you have my parents who are divorced therefore you have both sides and their respective spouses also. That makes for one heck of a Christmas for the kids. So needless to say it is one BIG happy family, well happy most of the time…haha.
This is a year of many “firsts” for our family. My grandma (mom’s mom) passed away in April of this year. This has meant that we had our first Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and now comes the holiday season. This is going to be an adjustment for all of us. Our family tradition has always been that we go to grandma and grandpa’s Christmas morning. We eat lunch, open gifts and hang out and watch football and/or good ol Christmas movies that play over and over on TV. It is all about family time. Over the last few years Grandma couldn’t handle making the big meal for all of us so we divided things up and made the meal. She hated that she got worn out when making the meal but we made sure that the meal still went on.
A book has been in my heart for many years. I have felt a need to reach out to CF patients who need to know that they are not alone in the fight and in life in general. I believe parents of CFers could get something from what I have to share also. Life is not always easy but when you throw in CF it makes it that much more difficult at times. Just because we have CF doesn’t mean that we are exempt to life’s other problems like dating difficulties, divorce, abuse, family problems, addiction, etc. With that said sometimes we can have a more difficult time in life because CF plays a part.
I am dedicating this to the memory of all of our fellow CFers who have lost their battle. There are too many to name but I want to honor their lives too. Breathe easy.
I am also dedicating this book to my beloved grandmother who means the world to me. She passed away April 21, 2013. She was the rock that was the center of our family. She wanted to wait until I was done writing the book before reading it. She never got the chance so now is the time for me to put this book into existence in honor of her. She was one of my biggest cheerleaders. She always said, “Shannon, you put up with a lot of crap when it comes to CF but you still keep going.” I have been told that she said I was her “hero.” I don’t know if I would go that far but that gives me even more reason to “never give up.” I love and miss you grandma everyday.
Playing the Cards Life has Dealt is the title of the “book.” I put “book” in quotes because I originally planned on putting my writings into book form. I have now decided to put it in blog form so that I can get it out with little cost so that it is available and finally out of my head.