Anger or Silver Lining

There are many people that are very angry at CF for what it does to a person.  My personal opinion is don’t waste your energy on being mad at a disease you have no control over.  Let me stop right there and explain.  Yes, you have some control over your symptoms and how you take care of yourself BUT in the big picture you have no control of what the outcome is.  Death is the result of life for everyone.  People with an incurable disease will most likely meet that end result sooner than others.  That doesn’t mean that you need to waste precious time worrying or being mad at something you have no control over.  It’s like being mad because you have to wait in a line.  Where does being mad get you?  Does it make the line move faster?  Does it get you to the front of the line?  No. If anything it will take longer (or seem that way) because you are bent out of shape over something you have no control over.  There are many scenarios I could use to demonstrate the same principal but I think you get the idea of what I mean. Continue reading

CF Awareness Month: Support System

A support system can make or break someone, that is no different and probably more true in people with CF.  Everyone needs support in their life.  CFers need a lot of love and support as well.  Having CF is physically and mentally draining at times therefore we need people around us whenever we need it.  I personally hate needing and asking for help.  I want to do everything on my own.  I’m stubborn like that.  It is a real hit to the self esteem when you can‘t do things you used to do or that you want to do and need help.  There are some people that can’t handle loving someone that has CF, for whatever reason and that is another knock to the ol self esteem.  Continue reading

Guest on another CF blog

I was emailed by another CFer who has a blog, Inhaling Hope.  She asked if I would like to be a part of her CF Moms section of her blog.  Of course I said yes!  Here is a link to my interview with her.  I think she did great.

There are a lot of great CF blogs out there and I am thankful to be counted amongst them.

Thank you Inhaling Hope!

Bonus Mom

What is a Bonus Mom you ask? Well that would be me! We came up with Bonus mom instead of step mom. Most all the step moms in the books, movies and TV are evil and mean. I, however, am not evil and mean so we had to come up with something. It basically boils down to me being a bonus in the kids lives. We do use “step mom or step son/daughter” when we introduce each other since it is standard practice for everyone else…haha.

I am so blessed to have them in my life. I am thankful for their existence. No matter how I got them in my life I am happy to call them my bonus kids.
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Chapter 6 – Divorce & Dating

“Playing the Cards Life has Dealt”

Just when you think everything is good or things could not get worse something happens in your marriage.  Unfaithfulness, money problems, addiction, growing apart or getting scared.  When your spouse is unfaithful it hurts to the core.  You feel like you did something wrong all these years for them to do that to you.  Well that is what happened in my marriage, my husband of seven years was unfaithful.

I had to realize that I did nothing wrong and it was not my fault.  The first thing that I thought is that I will never be able to find someone who is going to want me or like me because of my “baggage (CF).”  The divorce was the hardest thing I have had to go through.  God did give me strength to deal with it but I still could not help but to think my life was over as I knew it.  I did not even want to think about dating because that is all I needed was another man who was going to treat me bad.

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Chapter 5 – Marriage

“Playing the Cards Life has Dealt”

The guy who I was dating throughout junior high and high school proposed to me the summer before my senior year and we set a date for the wedding after I graduated from high school.  January of my senior year I had the opportunity to go to Hawaii through the Dream Factory.  The Dream Factory is a wonderful organization that gives kids who are sick with incurable diseases their wish like the “Make a Wish Foundation” does.  My wish was to go back to Hawaii.  I have family that lives in Hawaii and it is my favorite place in the world.  I haven’t been anywhere outside of the US but still it is my favorite place to go/be.  The only weird thing was my fiancé went with me, not so much of a kid thing to do.  In July of 1998 we got married in a big catholic ceremony.  We moved to Pittsburg, KS two days after getting married.  My husband was going to start college at Pittsburg State University and wanted to walk on the football team.

While I was living in Pittsburg I hung out with my aunt a lot since she lived there.  She invited me to a women’s bible study.  I was very interested because I had a lot of questions that I wanted answered.  One of my questions was, did God give me this disease and why?  I began to find comfort in knowing that God did not “give” me CF as some kind of punishment and that I won’t know why I have CF until I have a chance to ask him when I get to heaven.  I am sure that I will see all the people that I affected and encouraged because of CF so I decided to stop wasting my time worrying about that.  I know there is a reason I have CF I just cannot see the magnitude of why yet.  I have a major compassion for sick people, people who are in the hospital a lot, people who have no energy due to illness, and even the caretakers of the sick people.

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