2017 was a rough year. It had its ups and downs. In January I had transplant clinic which was good. I’m holding steady according to them. I see them, at Barnes Jewish in St. Louis, once a year to check me out. January also brought the 1st anniversary of my moms passing which was hard. I still miss her every day. The hole her death put in my heart will never be filled. I was on IVs in February, April, May, July, August which lead to being in the hospital because of my creatinine (kidney level) being elevated again. I had my gallbladder removed in September and did a week of IVs after surgery as a precaution. More IVs in November and then this whole virus/bronchitis/CF exacerbation or whatever it is in December that put me in the hospital for a few days. Man that’s a lot of IVs! Continue reading
Everyone wants to be strong for those around them. This may be magnified when it comes to someone with a chronic illness. You spend a lot of time telling everyone you are “fine” when they ask how you are because if you said how you really felt all the time people would feel sorry for you or think you were faking. You automatically want to be strong for those around you. You want them to be okay. You don’t want everyone to worry about you. Your thinking is that everyone has their own life to worry about and worrying won’t fix anything.
The other side of the coin is that you want to know that your situation affects them and that you are thought about in regards to your health. There are times that you cry alone because you are scared. You don’t want to show anyone that side because you don’t want them to be scared for you. Sometimes you just want to throw a pity party because your life sucks having to deal with all the health crap. After your pity party/freak out moment you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going. Being strong is not always easy to do but if you aren’t a fighter your illness will win Fight until your last breath!