There are many people that are very angry at CF for what it does to a person. My personal opinion is don’t waste your energy on being mad at a disease you have no control over. Let me stop right there and explain. Yes, you have some control over your symptoms and how you take care of yourself BUT in the big picture you have no control of what the outcome is. Death is the result of life for everyone. People with an incurable disease will most likely meet that end result sooner than others. That doesn’t mean that you need to waste precious time worrying or being mad at something you have no control over. It’s like being mad because you have to wait in a line. Where does being mad get you? Does it make the line move faster? Does it get you to the front of the line? No. If anything it will take longer (or seem that way) because you are bent out of shape over something you have no control over. There are many scenarios I could use to demonstrate the same principal but I think you get the idea of what I mean.
When it comes to being upset at something out of your control all you are doing is wasting time and energy and giving that thing power over you. No, it isn’t fair that people with CF are dealt a crappy hand in life. No, it isn’t fair that young kids die from this disease. No, it isn’t fair that CF takes away “normal” life and replaces it with struggles. No, it isn’t fun watching people you love struggle to function like a “normal” person, to breathe, to walk or to do many other things.
Here is the silver lining. Replace that anger or hate with thankfulness. Be thankful for the good times/days/moments/etc. Be thankful for loving and supportive family and friends. Be thankful more modern medicine that helps prolong life. Be thankful for every moment you have. I’m not saying you aren’t entitled to be mad or angry because let’s face it, it is a hard life to live and a hard life to watch someone live. Just don’t waste too much time being angry at things you can’t change. You will be a happier person if you try and find the good/positive in things.
When I reach the end of my life I don’t want to die a bitter angry person thinking of all of the things CF “took” from me but t think about all the things I did “in spite” of CF. I want to know I helped someone keep on pressing on even when I didn’t know I was encouraging them. That would show me that I chose to find the silver lining in life.
Trust me when I say that I have many “I hate this” and “I don’t know how much more I can take” moments. I let them happen, shed the tears, scream and yell. Then I choose to dry my eyes and get back in the fight.
Parents, don’t express how much you hate CF (or other disease) in front of your children. They will grow to resent it and are more likely to not take care of themselves for the simple reason of “what’s the point.” They need to know they are special and that it is ok be frustrated with it all but to never give up! Yes, watching your child fight everyday life will make you hate the thing that makes them struggle, that’s a given and it is perfectly normal. You can choose to change the way you express that anger. You can make a positive thing in the sense that you will enjoy every moment you have and not waste them.
This blog is what happens when I can’t sleep and get a topic in my mind. I was typing this on my phone while laying in bed next to my husband and 2 dogs snoozing away. It makes me think about how lucky I am to have the life I have, in spite of CF.
Until next time…