Sick person guilt

Ugh. Being “the sick person” is not easy. Of course being sick is no fun in general but when you throw in the rest of every day life is makes it even harder.  I am not a fan of being sick and having to take a “break” from life.  I will speak for myself in this post, Others may not feel the same way I do. 

I have had moments of anger/frustration with being sick yet again. It has only been 51 days since my last round of IVs ended. Throw in the issue I had with cramping and bleeding that lasted almost 2 weeks on top of that and it has not been fun at all.  I had lunch with my husband on Thursday and ended up in tears because I feel bad that I feel bad.

I hate that he doesn’t get his happy go lucky wife who loves to be on the go but in turn he gets a boring, sometimes grumpy, non energetic, coughing all the time wife.  I feel bad for those around me when I get sick. I hate being the reason we have to change plans or not make plans at all. My husband deserves to have fun and to do fun things but when I’m sick those things get put on the back burner.

I feel guilty when CF disrupts our life. I hate when it disrupts our life actually!  The hardest part is that it will only continue to disrupt our lives as time goes on.  This is why I try my best to make the best of the time we have now. I especially take the “feeling good” days and use every ounce of them.

It is hard to be the sick person in the world of healthy people. Haha. Many take good health/feeling good days for granted. I want nothing more than to have more good days than not so good days.

My husband is sitting in the living room chatting with his mom but I have no energy and feel like doo doo so I’m laying in bed watching shows. Even with this I feel bad but if I were out there I wouldn’t probably engaging in conversation because I am just drained from being sick. I hope these antibiotics kick in and I feel better with more energy and motivation.

Until next time…

2 thoughts on “Sick person guilt

  1. I’m so sorry. All I know is that you are doing your absolute best, and that is good enough. Your family has you. Maybe not to do what others are doing, but simply holding your hand is good enough. Hang in there. You are worthy and I love you

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