2017 was a rough year.  It had its ups and downs.  In January I had transplant clinic which was good.  I’m holding steady according to them.  I see them, at Barnes Jewish in St. Louis, once a year to check me out.  January also brought the 1st anniversary of my moms passing which was hard.  I still miss her every day.  The hole her death put in my heart will never be filled.  I was on IVs in February, April, May, July, August which lead to being in the hospital because of my creatinine (kidney level) being elevated again.  I had my gallbladder removed in September and did a week of IVs after surgery as a precaution.  More IVs in November and then this whole virus/bronchitis/CF exacerbation or whatever it is in December that put me in the hospital for a few days.  Man that’s a lot of IVs!

On another note this year has been rough with my depression.  It was a rough roller coaster.  Hopefully we have things figured out med wise so that I can better handle my depression.  I do see a counselor whom I love.  The subject of depression can’t taboo like it is.  It is a real thing and it doesn’t mean you are weak.  If anything thing it means you are strong because you are fighting through.  I have to remind myself of that every day because I sure don’t feel strong when it comes to dealing with depression.

Now my feelings on this sickness that I have going on right now.  I feel like it is never going to go away.  My body hurts.  It hurts to cough.  I’m so short of breath.  I have been spending my days laying in bed with my oxygen on trying to rest and get better.  Which I feel like it’s not working…hahaha.  I have 7 days days of IVs left.  I really just want to feel better.  I feel like I’m stuck.

Until next time….