I saw my psych doctor today to talk about my depression and anxiety.  My antidepressants aren’t helping anymore.  I’m on Effexor and have been for many years and it’s not working for me anymore.  We are going to wean me off the Effexor and starting Trintellix (a newer med).  It’s not going to be an easy time weaning off the Effexor because I have been on it so long.  I pray that it is an easy transition onto the new med.  I need a break through.  I deserve a win in this one.

I am hoping that this new med will help me be able to have the motivation to do things once again.  I’m ready to have a purpose again.  I know I have a purpose but I want the feeling of a purpose again. I feel like a bump on a log.  My anxiety has been pretty bad as well.  It is not fun what so ever.  Like I said I am ready for a change and for a won in this area of my life.  I am still seeing my therapist which is just part of the puzzle.

In other news, I have been tolerating the Symdeko well, at least I think I have.  I see CF clinic on August 2nd.  We will see then what my lung functions are then.  I have been coughing more and coughing up more but that may just be the Symdeko doing its thing.  At least that is my hope because I don’t want to be getting sick.  I have been sleeping a lot which is part of my depression as well as CF and needing to rest a lot.  The sicker I get the more I have slept.  I’m trying to live in the moment and not think of the future in the sense of the inevitable transplant.  I’m hoping the Symdeko gives many more years before transplant is my last resort.  So far this year has been a better CF year in the sense that I haven’t been on IVs, only 1 round of oral antibiotics.  Last year I was on IVs 7 times I believe and my lung function was lower (28%) but it came up (to 35%), which is a great thing.

I do have some shoulder pain which I think is from taking Levaquin because it has been known to cause tendon/ligament problems.  It usually causes me knee arthritis type pain but this time it’s in my shoulders.  I did physical therapy for my left shoulder from when I fell when I passed out from coughing.  It helped but didn’t make my pain go away.  I have exercises to do at home which I am doing but the pain is still there.  It sucks!  It makes it hard to do certain things that you take for granted like reaching into the back seat of the car for example.

I think that gets you up to date on me.  I’ll update after my CF clinic appointment.

Until next time…